i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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