You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
