Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
