another moral hangover. fuck.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
