it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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