Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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