At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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