I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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