when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
soo... how was my night?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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