his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
