it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
