At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
