ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
