Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
