is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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