my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
