You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
