apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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