I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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