Pappa wants mamma naked
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
