Midget sex pt 2 tonight
someone owes me an orgasm
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
