Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
