a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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