no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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