Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
