I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
