Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
