I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
