My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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