I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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