Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
