so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
