I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
