worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
