we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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