question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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