did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
