Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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