i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dignity is for republicans.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
