Too much gin, very little bucket
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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