Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
