So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
