i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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