I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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