What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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