Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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