Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
