we're blogging at a bar
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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