Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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