So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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