i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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