they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
