There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
