I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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