forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
