It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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