I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
