you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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