can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You pole danced in your parka.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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