youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize