i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
