Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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