Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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