The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize